2022 is over. There were ups, downs, all arounds, and everything crammed in between. I can’t remember the last time I got excited for NYE, but the older I get the less I care about all the razzmatazz. Hell, if Anderson Cooper isn’t getting drunk on live TV…well that was the last thing I enjoyed about the spectacle.
It’s cliché, but this year was good to some and bad to others. Personal lives aside, I did love that it kind of felt like the year of the rich asshole finally being seen as a rich asshole, but I digress, the last thing I want to think about right now is billionaires. I do hope they continue into 2023 having an awful time. Anyway.
For me it has been the year of what am I doing? If you dig deep enough in my posts, you will get a sense of my general timeline for all the what-the-fuckery that is my life. On the positive, I was far less manic and crazy this year, spending more time just existing. Funnily enough, I began drifting back to my old life. I am, in some ways, back into a music-oriented career. Before I was a professional academic and performer, now I do more…customer service. At times It feels like as soon as I was getting to the top of the ladder, I fell off. I mean, that’s actually a good way to describe it. I don’t have a clue about how I would get to where I was, and honestly, I don’t know that I want to.
It was scary going through my undergraduate and graduate degrees in this field, knowing there are very few options in an immensely saturated market. It’s even scarier now knowing that I’ve lost my footing and am starting from essentially square one, only this time with crushing student loan debt. Yeah, it’s scary. But I have been reminding myself that the fear is what drove me. To sound cliché again, what I love most about me is that I thrive on boldly going. This time around I am boldly going, but I don’t know where. To put this whole thought under an umbrella, that is the real major difference this time. Before I knew exactly where I wanted to be, and therefore I knew the steps I must take and the obstacles I must face.
Now, I am armed with the knowledge and skills, but no direction. There’s a more positive way to put that though. I have the tools in my toolbox that I need to be successful, and though I don’t have the instructions, a little sweat and creativity should be enough to guide me through the dark.
That is my 2022 reflection
Thank you, and Happy New Year.
Featured Image: Photo by Crazy nana on Unsplash
Pressure & Sanity 